Confusion

Have you ever felt so confused you just wanted to scream? That's where I'm at right now....

I melt the mini M&M's on my tongue and try to calm myself as I think of my problems. There seems to be a time in people life where things are so wonderful all at once, and then so horrible all at once. Whether your problems in life are with family, or with friends. Life seems like it decides to pile up all your mistakes, burdens, and  worries and then let them all out at once (with a shot of surprise), and watch you lie in the puddle of misfortune that it has thrown your way.

We can set ourselves up for misfortune. I believe that, but I also know that tragedies/ failures/ horrors can happen out of our hands too. The world decides that what they do will not effect others. Wrong. What we do from day to day can ruin ourselves and others around us. (I'm sorry this isn't supposed to be a guilt trip, I'm just talking it out into reality). So what we do does effect ourselves and others around us, okay you get it.

Well, right now I'm just really upset with the promises that have been broken, words that weren't meant to be kept, and watching the people I love fall to their knees in despair because of the hurt that they feel. I'm becoming one of them its seems. We all get that way every once in a while, and some stay that way all of their life. (This is really crappy of me to have my first two blogs about world hurt/ suffering only after the first opening blog huh. Believe me, I didn't plan it this way, it just kind of happened.)

Confusion when you have these feelings of regret, hurt, anger, and mistrust can cause you to want to do many things. I suggest just going outside and sitting (go to your happy place if not outside) and just chill. Sometimes it helps right away, some times it takes a little while, maybe a few times before you can get over it and willing to talk to someone. Anger eats at our hearts like a evil (fill in the blank) and it won't leave you alone. So chill, think it out, talk it out (because communication is key) and try to get all the pieces to your puzzle before you assume the worst. If the worst is to be assumed...then scream. yell. Do what you need to do to get it all out and move on.

(Dang this got really long, my apologies) Hope you all have a good week

Funeral

Today I went to a funeral. It was for a dear old lady that had lost her fight with life, but left a memory in all of our hearts. The death wasn't unseen for her future, so when the news came we all just kind of gave it that solemn face that we all get when we go to a funeral. We give our condolences to the family and make our way down the line. I've been on both sides of that line, the one that is giving the condolences and the one that is receiving them. So I know what exactly the thought process is of the whole thing, and it all seems to be the same.

My apologies for such a sobering and dull subject, but I just wanted to say something about it because it was on my mind. I won't go on much further than this, because there are other things to do. One thing that is always the same at funerals though is that that is one of the main times that people ever see each other. Whether it being the first time in a few days, months, even years and beyond. Makes me wonder why we put off such relationships while everyone is fine and living, and then wish he had had more time with the person lost or forgotten.

I challenge you today, like many other challenges you have more than likely been given, to make every second count with the people that mean the most to you. Every second of the day can't be spent with them, that's a given, but putting an effort into telling someone you "love them" and "care for them" is going to be an effort well worth your time.

R.I.P. to the dear old lady that will always live in the hearts and minds of everyone that loved her

New Blogger

Greetings Readers!

Welcome to my very first blog! Totally exciting right?? (not really) That's okay though, today is a fresh new day. So many things to do, so little time to do it in. Struggles of life haven't ceased/ taken a break just because you had to take your nightly siesta, but that's okay! Because today is a new day, and you chose who you're going to be. (Excuse my over excitement)

For those of you who have given my little blog a chance at being read, I thank you. I hope to be seeing more of you (even though I can't literally see you, but you can see me!). Like I said before, I've never had a blog before so I'm really new at this, but my curiosity was triggered when reading a college students blog just the other day. How elegantly she created her paragraphs and put such heart into everything she wrote. It was truly beautiful (No joke, I had literal tears in my eyes) and with that I decided that I wanted to create a blog too.

I know what you're thinking. Just because someone made something so elegant and creative doesn't mean that there is some chance in the world that I can be like that, and I agree with you. To try and copy someone else's work will only lead to disappointment because you didn't make it your own. So, I am making this my own, with some advice/inspiration by other blogs. And I just got a total mental block so I'm going to end this before I go into something totally off topic (if I haven't already).

Hope everyone has a great weekend/week and I will see you on the flip side!