For the Best

For the love that never let me down. 

I don't remember the exactly day or the exact date for when the passing happened. Things tend to happen too fast when sickness is involved. Whether it's fast and quick taking the things you love the most away from you before you're prepared, or it's slow and daunting making sure you know that it will kill you eventually. My dog suffered from E.coli after eating something that had grown foul, and was pronounced deceased the day after his reaction. The dog that I saw before I left for work that night was not the same loving near-human animal that I had grown extremely fond of the past six years of my life.  When I would walk, he would walk with me. No matter where I went he would always be there to protect me by my side. Guardian of the forest. Strong and intimidating, he always made people notice his presence. Although I'm a human, he taught me to be brave at times when I was afraid. There was never many times when I was alone. Whether asleep, walking, or sitting in my room he wouldn't be too far away. When my parents buried him beside the garage I kept thinking that if there was one more day with him I spend the whole day just petting him. That's the one thing I miss the most, because when I was scared of upset I could pet him and he would look at me with his big brown eyes and smile. He helped me feel better when there wasn't anyone else around. 

Every day since the death he has been on my mind. When I go out into the yard I think about how he would roll in the grass and he was always so happy. I'm glad that he was happy, and that he didn't have to suffer for very long. Some days are harder than others without his presence. Some days I wake up in the morning thinking about him first thing. Yesterday I had a dream that he was alright and al of this wasn't real, but I knew it wasn't right that he was still gone. 

Anyways, I guess in away this is my closure. I haven't had this kind of missing of something since I was 10 and my most favorite dog passed away of a blood clot. As a kid I thought I could just argue with the god of heaven and make everything okay again, but it didn't work. None of it ever worked. So this post, as morbid as it may be, is my way of saying a proper good-bye. A nice farewell to the bravest dog I've ever loved. 

R.I.P. Butch <3